I want to be a fit geek

Surfing through the fitspo tag, looking for the motivation I need to get me out of this “I want to be lazy” rut I’ve been in for the past few days, when I see a blog post from someone promising you’ll lose 10lbs in 1 months if you follow her (I assume the blogger is a woman for some reason). “Best of all, I’ll make you skinny”. If that’s not a word for word quote, it’s pretty darn close. And this bugs me. Currently I’m 155lbs, which is quite a lot on my 5ft frame. But at one point, about 10 years ago, I really struggled with an eating disorder. I got down to 93lbs the worst way possible. I was horribly ill, eating fewer than 700 calories a day. It was a long hard fight to get to a healthy weight, once I admitted I had a problem. And sometimes, there’s still that voice in my head, wishing for visible hip bones and a thigh gap (that I’ll never have because of my build). Then I got married, gained the “newly wed” weight, then I got pregnant and gained the baby weight, and here I am.  Trying to lose weight the RIGHT way, for good.

I don’t want to be skinny. I want to be healthy. Fit. I want to run in races just to say I did, I want to outrun my kids, keep up with them on the play ground, help them practice for sports, teach them the right way to do things NOW so they don’t make the mistakes I did. I don’t know what weight or pants size I’ll be. And really, I don’t care. My waist measurement isn’t as important as my health. I’ll never be a size 2 again, I’ll never be “skinny”. But I will not tolerate being overweight any more either. Give me strong muscles, energy and a life of great health over thigh gaps, skinny jeans, hip and collar bones any day.